“I was always a heavy drinker. My friends would go out once every weekend but I would go out from Thursday night through to Sunday, I had no control.”
I was always a heavy drinker. My friends would go out once every weekend but I would go out from Thursday night through to Sunday, I had no control. Before long, I was drinking every morning when I woke up and drunk almost all the time.
I was hurting myself, but I was also hurting my partner and our three children. My addiction kept me numb from it all, and I spiralled down until I had nothing left and no one wanted anything to do with me.
That’s when I entered my first rehab, and from there I went to Liberty Farm. When I arrived at the farm I was angry. The detox was hard, but it was everything that came with sobriety that I was struggling with more. Addiction masked all my emotions and kept me from dealing with anything. After detox the feelings I had were overwhelming, I was flooded with guilt, remorse and rage for what I had done.
But at Liberty Farm I found support from men who were there for me, who showed me love no matter what I was saying or doing. It was something I was not used to, but something I really needed.
“Addiction is not a life. It's not. You don’t live, you just exist”
I came through the farm, moved into a flat and Walk helped me get work. I have started to see my partner and kids and we are slowly rebuilding our life together. It has not been easy. My oldest is very sensitive and remembers what I was like when I was at my worst, but I took him to Blackpool for a day out recently and had the chance to say sorry for how I was during those tough years at home.
Addiction is not a life. It's not. You don’t live, you just exist. Now I have a life, I work as a well-being coach and for the first time I can honestly say that I am excited about my future.
God has given me the gift of family and shown me how important it is. My daughter told me she was proud of me the other day, that’s what I live for now.